New experiences are gathered everyday, but this time, this one needs to be carefully jotted down.
Just so I'll forever remember every second of it and pat myself on the back for taking that one step to materialize this childhood dream of mine.
A lot of thought has been put into starting this little space here.
A lot of thinking.
A lot of planning.
A LOT of sleepless nights.
And a LOT MORE doubts and self-inflicted apprehension.
But I suppose what I really want is a little place, a little space which I can call my own, where I can type, scribble, doodle, cut, copy and paste my journey and experience...... as one of the 19 finalists of Miss Universe Malaysia 2012.
I don't blame you for that recoil you just did. But if you perked up, thank you for that.
Understandably, there are people who don't look highly upon beauty pageants. Not sure why the bad rep, a social belief that people has conformed to I supposed.
And WHY did I want to join?
Well, I grew up chasing these beauty contest shows on TV (with my beloved mum) and there always seemed to be an air of excitement whenever the program is on. My mum and I subconsciously played both audience and judge and we'll comment on each contestant; how beautiful they are (physically), how nicely applied their makeup was, how prettily done their hair was, how gorgeous the evening gowns were, which girl walked better and why etc etc etc....
And I guess it was all these years of watching and commenting that made me ponder many times over what it'll really feel like to be one of those girls. I'm charmed by the way they always had to put the biggest and most dazzling smile on, amazed by how knowledgeable some of them are and mostly, fascinated by the confidence they exude on stage.
Countless times I've been asked by friends, what's the reason of me joining a beauty pageant. Some of them were just adorably curious but I did get a few that stated, "Why waste your brains on this!"
Well, it's a passion, a lifelong fantasy that I want to make real- a deep desire .
And since when have we ever described 'desire' as being logical? To be more specific, I have a deep desire to be an inspiration to others.
That's what matters most to me. To be a role model for other people out there, to inspire and be inspired in return.
And at the end of it, I'll know that I've reached out to many out there and a part of me lives with them.
Because they came up to me and said, "Lu Xanne, you've inspired me today."
This blog started as a mark of a significant time in my life. The journey of the pageant is starting very soon and I would love to have more onboard with me.
Besides, I always believed, "The more, the MERRIER!"
